I was flipping through the television channels a few nights ago. And as I was surfing through the waves of images, I realized that I saw more and more “Sexual Innuendoes”. Whether it was on a sitcom, or on a fruit-juice commercial; we are seemingly obsessed with getting to the point of Orgasm. We might not actually reach the mighty climax from the antacid commercial; we will however be stimulated and titillated.
Before I go on, lets take a quick look about our society. We CRAVE to be stimulated. We are an adrenaline, nerve-tingling, heart-pounding group of people. We long for the next sensation, whether it be pleasurable or otherwise the opposite, we are constantly looking for our next thrill. It is this constant need to be intrigued or titillated that has caused this seemingly explosion of orgasmic chewing gum commercials.
Please don’t get me wrong, our bodies were made to have mind-shattering orgasms, but the way we are going about it is having serious consequences on our relationships. Even our everyday life the obsession of orgasms has taken hold of our sub-conscious and is rooting itself deeply into it. And also, could it be that our longing for the Almighty Orgasm be the main cause in our lack of True Love and devotion? I believe that answer is yes.
If we take a look into our culture, our beloved “Pop-Culture”, we will begin to see the ramifications of our sex obsession. Okay, walk into your local theater, look at the films that Hollywood has released. Nearly all of them have deep sexual undertones. And some of them aren’t even undertones, the entire film is about Sex and its extreme importance to living a happy life. I hate to break it to you, but having one more orgasm won’t help you at your job (well, it could – depends on your occupation). If you take a close look at the persons that are having mind-blowing sex with random people, you will find that they are a tattered individual. They are not satisfied, though their genitals might be; for only a while.
Take a look into the Music Industry, so many songs are about having sex or getting ready to have sex. Sexuality is so prevalent in our society; far too prevalent to list them all here. The main point that Hollywood, Music, and all other forms of Mass Media are forgetting is that there HAS to be a balance. There has to be a true conscious balance in able to view life in a healthy manner.
Probably the most serious, and obvious result in the Orgasm Nation is the age that individuals are starting to be sexually active. Nowadays, it’s very common for kids to start “fooling around” at age 12, 13, 14. Before these kids can even think about driving a car, they are having sex, or doing “anything but”. But could this be that teenagers have a more detailed view of the world, than teenagers had in the 40s or 50s? With the extreme easy access of information literally at the fingertips of teens via the Internet or Television is their rapid growth of maturity the reason from this “information age”?
Most ten year olds know more about computers and technology than most 40 year olds. So does this rapid growth of intellect stop at technology? Does the growth spread into the sexuality department of the brain? According to Kinsey Pomeroy Martin’s “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male” 95% of males under 15 years of age are sexually acting. And from my own conversations with many different individuals, this account is very true. It is very common today to find 12 and 13 year olds having sex in a responsible adult-like manner. It seems obvious that the “information age” has quickly turned into the “Orgasmic Age” as well. The question is, does this sexual involvement at such an early age have any major ramifications? Does this involvement in sex put relationships on a different mindset than it should be?
There is now a state of sexual relationships between two individuals as “friends with benefits”. This is where the two persons consider themselves only friends, but engages in sexual activities on a regular basis. This type of “friendship” is very common in social groups. But, if having meaningless sex with one of you’re friends demeaning the true value of the act? There is also the question of emotional conflict a person can have when you are putting true feelings into the sex, but the other person is just in it for the satisfaction? Having this type of relationships are extremely dangerous to your mind and body.
The main concern, is this person having this type of relationship with more than just you? If that’s the case, are they using protection? Now with the risk of obtaining an STD so prevalent, being involved with someone who has many “friends” is very dangerous. Also, when you engage in sex just because, you are opening yourself in a very intimate way. And, there is a high risk of unintentional feelings being conjured up. And the possibility of the other person not returning those feelings, especially when dealing with men, can be a devastating blow to anyone. My advice, DO NOT get involved in this casual friendship, you’re just asking to be hurt.
While we are on the subject of casual relationships, there is the notion of “one-night-stands” or “hooking up”. And to my surprise, less and less people are engaging in this type of “relationships”. Which is a surprise due to the face of the increase of the “friends with benefits” revolution. But as I was researching the subject of “hooking up”, I came across several interesting responses to my questions. They ranged from the occasional, “HELL NO” to “No, but I wish I could”.
One of the people I interviewed was a lady whom was raised in the Midwest. And her outlook on sex and “hooking up” is one that I feel many will be able to relate with. Upon asking her the question, “Do you do one night stands?” She replied, “No. I was always afraid that somehow my parents and grandparents would know. And rather than disappointment them, I tried to be as much of a ‘Good Girl’ as possible”. Now lets get a little more information about this individual. She was raised in a rural area in Indiana where her parents were very strict. She wasn’t allowed to date until she was 16 years old and “not a day before”.
What grabbed my attention about her response was the fact that even though she said “No”, she really didn’t mean it. Even though she never has nor ever will “hook up”, she made this decision based on the fear of disappointing her parents. Not that I am condoning hooking-up, but as an individual you must come to your own conclusions about life and what you will and will not do. One of the biggest mistakes a person can make, is living your life for someone else’s sake. Though you may take their advice, you must be your own person. Make mistakes. Don’t ever live your life hoping you’ll never disappoint your parents or anybody for that matters. Take chances and find out who YOU are, not who the person your parents want you to be.
Further into my interview with this person, another one of her questions caught my attention. Upon asking her, “Do you think that sex is more important than a mental connection?” She answered, “No, of course being female, I believe the emotional/mental connection is more important because looking at the long term picture, I want to be with someone that can stimulate my mind even if there is the chance that sex is not an option.”
There were several interesting points that she said. At the beginning of her answer, she stated that herself being female, she believed that in having the emotional/mental connection outweighs the satisfaction of sex. It is very true that men and women do look at relationships wearing different glasses. Women, not all women, usually tend to long for the stimulation of their minds before or greater than sexual stimulation. And men, not all of them, usually tend to gravitate towards physical satisfaction before he goes for the gratification of his mind. This does not mean that men do not want a mental connection, if just means that they go towards the satisfaction of their genitals first. Or, as another interviewee, Adrienne Koopersmith said, “Sex is a man’s mental connection. After all, they do everything with their dick!” As absurd of a comment this is, there is some truth to it. There are plenty of men who show their mental connection through the act of having sex.
Men and women are built differently externally as well as internally. Men are visually stimulated, and women are very emotionally stimulated. As some women MUST have that mental “click” before engaging in any form of sexual gratification. Men will usually continue on the track of obtaining the gratification, even if there is no “click” mentally.
Returning back to the earlier quote, she stated that she “looks at the long-term picture, I want to be with someone that can stimulate my mind; even if there is the chance that sex is not an option.” This by far is one of the most insightful responses I received. By today’s standards, if you can’t have sex with the person you are emotionally involved with now, than you drop them like a bad habit. What we must come to realize, sex is not, or should not, be the entire relationship. If all you’re riding on is sex, than you might as well pack your bags and leave. The key feature for any relationship to last part the third rendezvous is having more than sex. Having something deep, something that binds the two of you together, a mental and emotional connection.
If you look at sex, there is probably only three different levels that your relationship can rest on. The first being “Good”. The second, “Improving”. And finally the third being, “MY GOD!!!” But these three levels are superficial. They cannot hold the heavy foundation of love. You must have the bedrock of the “Relationship World” in order to build the house of love and mental/emotional connectivity. If you involve sex with the above, your relationship will last even when the sex tapers off, if it does at all.
“The more you connect mentally, the more exciting sex becomes. As one of my friends remarked, mind blowing sex is more mental than physical any day.”